Day 1 of Stampede

After Laura's excellent Stampede breakfast she took off as planned with Hiking Lisa to Cowboys, the bar made more recently infamous by Prince Harry whilst he doing some military training in Alberta. This bar is huge, really a structure to which carpark-sized marquees are attached and completely furnished with rough-hewen bars, DJ equipment and a never-ending supply of Kolkanee, Molsens and Canadian lagers.

Apparently the first day of Stampede is the only day of the year where it is not only acceptable but expected that most of the business core of Calgary will start lining up at 9.30am for the biggest party in town, celebrating Albertan culture and the Redneck within. At a $50 covercharge just to get in the door, it was a party a little to oil-rich for my blood.

Marc, Jess and Michelle and I decided to head down to the Stampede grounds for a sunshiny day of... well, I didn't know what to expect.
The theme of the Stampede this year was "Tough Enough to Wear Pink", supporting breast cancer cure research. Wrangler made baby pink and check-pink cowboy shirts for the occasion and a lot of men wore the colour proudly.

We did not have tickets to either the rodeo or the chuck wagon races that day so we wandered through the carnival grounds and markets. There were also stages playing various bands throughout the day and night, including the Coca Cola stage for pop and rock and the Nashville stage for country.

Later in the afternoon we said goodbye to Michelle and Jess and had to choose by 4pm where to settle for the evening. Calgary is amazing. The summer is so short and outdoor dining/ pub spaces so small around town that on a non-working day you really need to stake your claim on a table by 4pm. And once you have it, you don't move from it.

We were too late for the Nashville tent. Being in the shade and playing country music, I was all in favour of planting myself there and even getting a chance of some "two-stepping" dancing with my sweetheart. After all, we were both wearing western hats, and I was in cowboy boots and a denim miniskirt. However, not a table nor chair was free. Marc's suggestion that we both stand up for the next 8- 10 hours was not met with loving acquiescence.

So we found a table in the shade across from the Coca Cola stage and had to employ some of that Canadian passive-agressiveness to fend off table poachers. We were joined by Courtney, a mate of Marc's and had the hugest BBQ turkey legs for dinner I have ever seen. it was like something out of the Flintstones and in retrospect, tasted pretty awful. My attempts to eat it with a plastic knife and fork were laughed at.

Between that and Courtney's close-escape from a "Cougar", it was an entertaining night to some live rock music.

Parade Day

The morning of Stampede I woke up confused and unrested. The streets were noisy the night before through my earplugs and the parade people had started arriving before 6.00 am in costume to get ready for their floats on the street below. I opened the curtain a crack and saw Darth Vader from Star Wars on the street below. Also some martial artists stretching and air-kicking at each other. I gave up poking at my foggy brain to register this as normal and retreated for the shower.

The morning got weirder. Upon stepping out of the bathroom I almost trod on a thin blonde lady in cowgirl gear at 7.00 am. This was my introduction to Hiking Lisa, one of the three Lisas in Calgary Laura is friends with. I am known as Aussie Lisa. Hiking Lisa drove in early to avoid the shutdown of the downtown core for the parade. Laura was already up and had set to work making pancake mix with real blueberries (she's wonderful) and as the guests started arriving I made mimosas.

Now in Oz we call them champagne and orange juice. For some inexplicable and daft reason the British call them "Bucks Fizz". I like the name mimosa. You can tell your kids you're drinking one for breakfast and they never need know there is alcohol in them. Clever.

That morning was the only time for the year Laura had her three Lisas together. "Work Lisa" arrived with her Kiwi fiance Dom, who kept Marc entertained with stories of his years working in Melbourne.

We had a first class view of the parade from Laura's balcony. Thousands of people lined the streets below and we were up on the 2nd floor watching it with pancakes and mimosas and ready access to a bathroom and chairs, both which became important as the parade lasted at least 2 hours. It was an international gathering of an American, Canadians, an Aussie, a Kiwi a Scot, a Belgian, his Flemish parents (who didn't speak English but enjoyed the pagentry) and a Frenchwoman.

The parade was something out of this world. Apart from Darth Vader and a bunch of stormtroopers (not sure which group they belonged to) most of the floats were Canadian themed. The parade was led by a bunch of young guys in cowboy hats and sneakers on skateboards. Each year a person or group are picked to be "Parade Marshalls" to lead the parade. It is usually a sporting hero, political figure or celebrity. This year the theme of Stampede was, "Tough enough to wear Pink" supporting breast cancer research. The skateboarders picked were not celebrities or public figures. They had skated all the way across Canada on their boards to raise money and awareness for breast cancer research. Pretty impressive stuff and they led the giant floats, RCMP on their horses the Stampede Queen and the Indian Princess on their battered boards.

The army marched, to great cheering. It's not every day you see a tank following a horse down the street. Many people here do not support the war in Afghanistan. But they most definitely support the troops. Nearly every week a dead soldier is brought home to Ottawa with all solemnity, colours and ceremony.

Similarly, the RCMP have suffered a lot of casualties domestically over the past few years. They looked great on parade and the Canadian pride was out.

I will add a web album soon. Watch that space.

'Twas the Night Before Stampede....

When I first came to Canada I never expected to be in Calgary for Stampede. I thought I would be working in Winnipeg and make a trip to Montreal for the Jazz festival or the Comedy festival during the summer at best. Both of which would have been terrific. But Stampede is billed as the Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth. That's a big claim. I wanted to see if it was true.

I wanted to find out if I did have an inner redneck and what she might be like. The idea was exciting and a little scary. Would I start shouting "Yee-haw and Ya-hoo"? Would I put a poster of Keith Urban (without Nicole) on my bedroom wall and start singin' love songs about yellow roses and diamonds? Would my hair develop an un-natural lift?

Stampede begins with a parade downtown on the opening day Friday. It is an unofficial public holiday for all businesses downtown, including my work and Laura's which gave us a paid holiday. Marc arranged to take the day off his work to join me for the parade festivities.

The Stampede parade is the biggest in North America, 2nd only to the Macy's Thanksgiving day Parade in New York City. This was so exciting ! Laura lived on 10th street in an apartment building with a 2nd storey balcony on the parade route. The parade was due to start about 8.30 am on the Friday morning.

I live within walking distance of Laura's house. However, Laura had invited a group of her friends to her house for a Stampede breakfast and to watch the parade and I'd offered to help. So we had a sleepover at her place the night before. I brought my packed western clothes, my Alberta Boot company boots and my pyjamas straight from work and I was set. We had take out chinese for dinner. The Chinese restaurant across the road had a banner up when I first arrived in March which said it was "Comming soon !!" It had opened and was excellent food.

After eating we watched a little TV and mostly talked about the upcoming Stampede. Laura had the idea of photographing our cowgirl boots sitting together by her fireplace. To me it reminded me of hanging stockings up at Christmas. And so the Legend of the Stampede Fairy was told for the first ever time.

The Stampede Fairy is a mystical cowboy. He is young, (20's-30's) wears a Stetson, Alberta Boot Company Boots and jeans. He lost his shirt in The Great Rodeo, so unfortunately he has to go shirtless. The night before Stampede, he travels from house to house in Calgary on his silent horse. Where he finds a house with cowboy boots by the fireplace, he leaves Big Rock (Alberta brand) beer.

Nobody knows why. It's just what he does.

When I woke up the next morning, there was beer in my boots. It was better than 20c for a tooth for sure !

Greek Festival- Calgary

This one's for Auntie Vicky...

Calgary, like many small cities, had a Greek Festival in the Spring. Karen, by then had become my "woman in the know" of all the cultural goings-ons in Calgary, myself having gone with her and Victoria to the Lilac Festival the month before.

The Lilac Festival had not turned out to be a Calgarian version of elegant Floriade. It was a outdoor all day grunge street party near downtown with open pubs, rock bands and local merchandise stalls of all sorts. I was curious about what the Greek Festival would be like.

A bunch of Karen's girlfriends met us at the festival grounds, who all shared a common love of roast lamb. I liked them already. I had not eaten lamb since leaving Australia and I know from living 5 years as part of an extended Greek family that it is lamb that can join great nations together across cultural divides. It's just good eating.

The Greek festival was what you'd expect from a Greek festival. A large set of white marquees for food and drink, buy your roast lamb, souvlaki style by the pound, salad, bread and with baklava for dessert and sit on the long tables set up near the dance floor. There were demonstrations of traditional dancing by these kids in costume. It is always hard to take photos of children in public these days, I think some of the organisers assumed I was a parent and gave me the ok.

Later on, after a full belly of good Greek food a few of us had to have a go at the "freeforall" time of day on the dance floor. It's harder than it looks at first but so rhythmic that once you pick it up, it's kind of hard to stop.

Other fun stuff, there were promotional companies outside the main tents- Starbucks were having a hard time convincing anyone their coffee was better, and there was a new kind of exercise bike- pedel for your fruit smoothie, you've got to earn it !!! (I enjoyed watching this Dad being egged on by his kids). Also, one of Karen's friends and I had a go at Wii, a new computer game where we held portable "wands" and played tennis against each other on screen. It was great, I could pretend to play like Venus Williams, I could be Roger Federa, I could be Phillipousis with a bad knee/ankle/lovelife. I found playing Wii that Greek kids in Canada are the same as Greek kids around the world, many (not all) are overfed and spoilt.

There was one chubby girl who kept edging in on my friend, asking continuously, "CanIplay? CanIplay? CanIplay?" instead of waiting her turn. We handed the wands over, one step short of her throwing a 9 year old tantrum.

The Greeks have more culture than yoghurt. It's worth celebrating.

My friend is a Tool (e)

It was a gorgeous sunny day to drive back to Calgary on the Canada Day public holiday Monday. Fortunately we did not have to rush back to town. Kelty was staying on holidays at her family's cabin by the lake. Specifically, Pigeon Lake. It's called the Toole Shed as it's owned by the Toole family.

The family cabins owned by her grandparents are shared equally and generously with all members of her extended family and sleep about 30 people. We drove to the nearby village where Kelty has arranged to meet us by the "fountain" which turned out to be a glorified upside-down tap (see picture if you think I'm exaggerating). The rest of the village was not overrated. It was a lovely cottage village with crafty clothing and furniture shops and cafes, in addition to hunting and fishing supplies. After a look around we went with Kelty out to the cabin and met some her cousins, Aunties and Grandparents, who warmly welcomed us and would have had us to stay the whole afternoon if we'd had the time.

Laura, Kelty and I went for a walk along the water's edge, Kelty alternatively delighting and horrifying me with stories of visits to the lake over the years. That day there were boats on the lake, people fishing and toddlers playing on the pebbly shore in the sunshine. In winter the lake freezes solid and you can cross-country ski, icefish (cut a hole in the ice) or drive a car on the lake. As a teenager, she'd played a game with her cousins during the icemelt that involved jumping from one block of broken ice to another on the lake. She fell through and sliced her leg open. Of course it's a good clean cut and you can't feel it because it's so cold, it's all ok... (what the ...???) (Again, reinforcing my conclusion that Canadians have an understated mental and physical toughness that lurks beneath all that niceness).

We said cheerio and went back to Calgary, another fantastic weekend over and more adventures to be told.

Canada day

Canada day fell on a Sunday this year, meaning that the public holiday was scheduled for the Monday 2 July 2007. On Sunday Laura and I went to a traditional pancake breakfast to kick off our day. The pancake makers had tried to colour the mix a patrotic red, which resulted in pink pancakes. They tasted the same so maybe that will be an idea for future girls' birthday parties.

The West Edmonton Mall is the 2nd or 3rd largest mall in North America. I have never packed both my swimsuit and my iceskates for the same day's outing but I did that day. The mall has an open ice skating rink and the world's largest indoor waterpark. My idea that we could wear our swimmers whilst iceskating for a lark was not well-received by Laura. I think I need to get a grip that there are some silly things I am getting too old to do.

The Mall was pretty impressive, I immediately fell in love with H&M, the British clothing store that we don't have in Australia, where I picked up some nice deals. Then it was off to Boston Pizza for lunch, located unbelievably near Hooters (the survival of this franchise I still find offensive).

Off to the waterpark for the afternoon- a sub-tropical atmosphere, with a wave pool, a baby pool and about 13 different waterslides. I didn't know that Laura had never been to a waterpark of any sort and some of the slides were massive. Texans are odd. The idea of people carrying guns or climbing up a mountain did not faze her but going down a waterslide initially did. My summer childhood days at the Wagga Wagga Olympic pool served me well. By the end of the day we were both going down the 2nd-hardest tandem slide- neither of us were about to go down the giant red vertical slide. The waterpark is hideously expensive- approximately $40 entry each and then exorbitant locker charges. However the kids of Edmonton can pretend they are at the beach when it is minus 30 degrees outside in winter and there is snow on the clear glass ceiling. That is marketing gold.

At the end of the day it was time for our cultural adventure- Shakespeare in the Park to see A Winter's Tale. I had spotted a good-looking Thai restaurant on Whyte Ave the day before so we bought some take away and took it with us for dinner. We were the only people who took a picnic dinner that night and the organisers were fine with it, though we would forbidden to crack open our bottle of wine we'd brought with us. The drinkers were corraled by wire fence in another part of the grassed audience area near the licensed bar away from the families, like criminals. In silent protest against the injustice, we didn't join them.

The set was great for this outdoor performance, good use of space, the weather was lovely and the performances variable. A Winter's Tale to me is one of Shakespeare's practice works and needs strong acting. Overall, I was disappointed with the quality of the performances, especially those most highly-rated in the program.

After the performance we knew that the Canada Day fireworks would be shot over the river and the parliamentary buildings so we headed down to the river to watch them from the Whyte Ave side. Cars and people were lined up everywhere, so we found ourselves on a bluff on the banks of the river, peering between the gap in the thick brush with a few Muslim families waiting for the fireworks. The women were so heavily covered up, it was hard to spot them and not bump into them in the dark but everyone was nice about it.

The fireworks were worth waiting for. Edmonton put on it's national pride and then we went back to our digs for a good night's sleep.

The magic spot- not Whyte Ave

The magic spot is an acoustic quirk of the Alberta legislative building. it is a spot on the floor of the 2nd floor inside circular balcony. When you stand on this spot and the fountain is turned on the ground floor, the sound of the water is exactly the same as if you were standing in a shower. It is bizarre and if you are not standing on the exact spot you will not hear it. It was first discovered by a technician who was changing a lightbulb.

We had a terrific time at the parliamentary buildings. The only problem was trying to leave. The roads leading to the parliament building are all circular and after spending 5 minutes driving away from the building towards the river, we found ourselves coming back !! This happened more than once and we determined that Edmonton has the Bermuda triangle of road systems.

We were both very tired so went back to the hostel to change for our Saturday night on Whyte Ave. I had been hearing about this famous street from my Canadian friends and it being a warm, early summer night we were looking forward to being cool on the cool street in Edmonton.

We soon found that Whyte Ave was a strange mix. A combination of trademens' pubs, grunge-artsy cafes and bars, and a few nightclubs. There was not a good restaurant to speak of. Laura and I settled into a corner pub right next to the major train line. We had the unique experience of watching a Canada-Pacific train pull into the intersection and, for inexplicable reasons, back up out of it. Very odd.

After an ordinary pub dinner we improved things markedly with a stop at the Italian Gellateria, where I got (and did not complete) a ginormous icecream in a waffle cone before we headed into an upstairs "hip" bar. We were surprised at the reception we got. The bar staff were indifferent and the general atmosphere was unwelcoming. We got the impression that Whyte Ave was too cool for itself and that we did not belong. It was a disappointing end to the evening, but at least we had Canada Day Sunday, the next day to look forward to.

Stopping for gophers on the road to Edmonton

Canada Day is a public holiday Monday in early July. It also coincided with the Shakespeare Festival in Edmonton. At home in Calgary, I had my hand-tooled Alberta Boot Company cowboy boots and straw hat ready with my Sheriff's badge for the upcoming Stampede. I wanted to go uber-English with Shakespeare before launching myself into the Wild West for 10 days.

Edmonton is the provincial capital of Alberta. It is also a big university town. My friend Fran did a university exchange there from Canberra several years ago and had a terrific time (including meeting her now-husband Chris, a friendly Canadian and a good touch-footy player to boot).

Laura and I drove up on a Saturday morning and stopped in the village of Torrington, one of the most unusual places I have ever been. Torrington is home to the world famous gopher museum. Gophers are small animals who breed like rabbits, dig up holes in pastures, create havoc for farmers and cause broken legs in animals who tread into their holes. When given a government grant for putting together a town attraction for tourism they decided no one would stop in a little village for an ordinary museum. They set the local boys the task of trapping and killing a lot of gophers, and after they were preserved and stuffed, they were then arranged into the dioramas pictured in the web album attached.

They were hilarious. The townpeople have had the last laugh and it has brought a huge amount of tourism to the town. The museum even has it's own song (I settled for buying a fridge magnet and a bookmark). Also about the town, every fire hydrant had been repainted into a cartoon gopher. Fantastic stuff.

Onwards to Edmonton, we checked into our digs, only a few blocks from Whyte Ave, the cool and artsy street of Edmonton, with pubs, cafes, boutiques and nightspots. We had lunch on Whyte Ave and then it was off to the Provincial Legislature buildings to check out our adopted Provincial Capital.

I seem to have made a habit of taking the "political/legal" tour of wherever I land. I have now visited provincial legislatures in British Columbia (Victoria), Quebec (Quebec city- only saw the outside, which I regret now), Manitoba (Winnipeg), Saskatchewan (Regina) and Alberta (Edmonton). I also spent half a day at the National Parliament in Ottawa and went to "Question Time" in English and French. It's more than I have seen in my own country.

The Edmonton Parliament was a standout. It was the third time I'd been to a parliament building on a Saturday afternoon and yet again, there were wedding parties having their photos taken in and outside the buildings. Given the beautiful Victorian or Georgian archiecture of most of these buildings and the lack of good weather in Canada, they make a much more romantic setting than the bride shivering with cold and the groom red-nosed and runny.

There was a cool fountain and pool outside the Edmonton parliament buildings and families in the summer take their children to play in the shallow pool and the gardens nearby, which I thought was great symbol of being in a free country. Flat petalled pink roses were the showpiece of the gardens and I am convinced that I had found the elusive "Wild Alberta Rose" that features on the Alberta licence plate with the slogan "Wild Rose Country".

With my well-travelled plush Moose hidden in my daypack, Laura and I joined a group of Asian tourists on the legislative building tour. The history of the building is fascinating, one of the first great buildings in the early electricity period. As a result, the building had thousands of lights and all the original wiring. The portraits of Queen Mary and (mad) King George were supposed to be hung over the grand staircase but when we arrived, Mary's portrait was the only one there. We supposed that George had taken himself off out of his painting to the pub, if not to be cleaned.

Our tour group was lead by a young Quebecqois lady, who had only a trace of a Quebecer accent. When the Asian tourists found out her background, they congratulated her on her English. To her credit, she accepted it gracefully.

The legislative floor was much the same as the others from around the country, but the Edmonton building had a curious quirk of archiecture that was unimagined even by the archietects.

Skipping the border for a day

Having already gone east with Laura and conquered Saskatchewan, it was time to pop west into British Columbia (BC) for a day. It was June and I had not been in the province since my first few days in Vancouver and Victoria when I arrived in Canada in January.

Marc the ski bus guy by then had become my boyfriend, and we piled into a car driven by his friend (also called Marc) Marc's girlfriend Jen and her friend Carmen. Both Marcs were boyhood friends from the east coast province of Nova Scotia, had done economics degrees and trained as accountants. Thankfully they don't style their hair the same way.

We were off to Radium in BC, which to me sounded like a nuclear power plant. In fact it was the location of a spa and hot springs, much like the one in Banff, which I had been to earlier in the year.

Nothing quite so bizarre as sitting in a large outdoor heated pool over 30 something degrees when it is cold outside with a bunch of strangers.

It was a cheerful 2-3 hr drive into the mountains on a misty day and upon arriving, Jen, Carmen and myself negotiated a fair number of old, naked, excessively wobbly Northern European women in the pre-spa shower and changerooms to join the boys in the pool.

It was a relaxing day. I like the spas. The difference between Banff and Radium is that Radium does have a "cold" pool and the very Scandinavian idea is that after being in the hot pool you take a dip in the cold. At least in Canada you wear your swimsuit. The other girls wouldn't go in for the cold but I committed to give it a go with the two Marcs and it turned out to be lukewarm. The test was that there were children in it and they weren't crying so I knew I would be ok.

So I had a chance to get out of downtown Calgary for a day and get to know some new people. Thanks to Jen's Marc who generously drove us all out there and back even after the sporific effects of the spa.

By the time we arrived back in Calgary it was pouring. My Marc had offered for all his mates to come over for a BBQ that evening and not to be deterred, we all shopped for BBQ groceries and drinks when we hit town. Marc lined up 2 BBQs outside and with his rainjacket on and beer in hand, cooked a BBQ for 8 which we ate indoors. I am now a fan of BBQ potatoes and marinated pork ribs. The only downside is that there is no ladylike way of eating them.

Morainne Lake and Lake Minniwanka

Morian Lake and Lake Minniwanker were great places to visit for a day out and a half-day hike. I saw one of my first squirrels, very unafraid of people and curious for food. Laura and I spent most of the day amazed that the Morian Lake hiking trail only opened up days beforehand (it was mid June).

Even considering this, I ended up thigh-deep in snow in my shorts on the hiking trail. Amazing. It was warm enough to be wearing a T shirt and there was snow more than 2 foot deep in the side of the mountain.

Lake Minniwanker was fun. We encountered a British couple declaring it was their honeymoon by assembling 20 ft high driftwood log letters on the lakeshore and helped them take photos. I continued to be impressed by the magnificence of the pine trees and Laura kept a full pocket of trail snacks to keep me chasing her up the mountain. Canine comparisons aside, it was a good ploy to teach me to keep up and to pause rather than stop to take photos.

On the lakeshore, Laura taught me to skip stones on the water, which I'd always envied but never learned how to do. I can do it now, but need more practice.

Morian Lake was more beautiful than Minniwanker. The rock composition and formations were beautiful, wild and strange and the lake had that glacier green than is so well loved here. We hiked through the snow trails for about 2.5 kms up a steepish incline before being so logged in with snow that without hiking poles, the rest of the way was too difficult. Reluctantly we turned back.

My heroine moment had arrived.

As we trudged back down the trail, Laura slipped and started sliding off the side of the mountain down towards the river. She held onto the edge determinedly with both hands as I caught up.

"Give me your hand"
"No, I'm alright"
"Give me your hand, I've gotcha"
"No"
"Give me your hand, you stubborn arse"
"I can get up it"

She wouldn't let me help her. So, whilst she was still hanging on I said,

"Look, in the movies there is a moment when the sidekick gets to save the hero and have their big moment. This is my moment. Give me your hand".

So, she let me help her up. I didn't have the heart to tell her that being naturally curly-haired, the better hiker and a world travelled geologist did not make me her sidekick.

She learned that a woman is not an island. I learned that a small fib can save a person from a muddy, watery afternoon.

I stuck close to her all the way down the mountain. After all, she might have been carrying beef jerky (which attracts bears), but she was wearing a bear bell attached to her pack (the jingling which encourages them to stay away).

Camping with Bears

I somehow managed to get through my whole life before Canada without ever actually camping. I've stayed in shacks at campsites, shared bunk rooms with numerous people, but never actually pitched a tent.

Camping is very popular in this part of the world. The moment that enough snow has melted to open up the hiking trails in the Rockies, most people start pitching tents. However, there are the die-hard enthusiasts who actually camp nearly all year round. In snow.

MEC (Mountain Equipment Co-Op) http://www.mec.ca/Main/home.jsp;jsessionid=GxtWGMdLRDb1v7R3YtrMV2jTLGSfVLDxwGfPyRJSbJxN9G4FZxZ7!1583577009?bmLocale=en&bmUID=1190227350557

...is Canada's must-shopping experience for anything you might need for spending time outdoors. Similar quality to Kathmandu but much cheaper and with a huge selection.

Laura's friend KC is a keen snowboarder. Despite looking 23 years old, she also works in some executive management role for a stockbroking company, actually does always look like she's stepped out of a salon, and her eyes and smile have a movie-star sparkle naturally. She is also one of the loveliest, most easygoing girls. She and her sister, who is a leggier, more Swedish backpacker version of KC, were organising a camping overnight trip at Banff, an hour away from Calgary in mid-June.

They asked me if they should go on a "big trip" of Australia and would they be made welcome by the people. I heard at least 8 million Australian men in my head shouting, "YES !!!" as I told them that they would have no problems at all.

The "snowboarding gang" showed up and Laura and I met a whole bunch of new people. I found out what snowboarders do on the off-season. They like being in the mountains but are not interested in hiking. They partied hard into the night with Jeremy, the shirtless teddy bear around a roaring open fire where we flamed hot dogs for dinner and marshmellows. I called it an early night sometime after midnight, to dire threats from the others that they would leave the real bears to get me for piking out early.

In actuality, I am scared of bears. Although our campsite was near Banff town, no matter how much you party into the night, all food scraps, rubbish and drinks have to be locked in your car or in bearproof bins at night, because bears can smell food in any container from a distance. The next morning, but for the tents and cars, it looked like no-one was there. The esky (cooler) with the sign was posted at the gate of the campground as a warning. The photographed cooler was one that had actually been mauled by a bear.

Laura's tent is small. Really small. You need to either be very comfortable in the other person's personal space, or carry a large bag of mints for both of you to get through the experience.

Laura is also not a hugger so once we were both in our sleeping bags, I gave her a wholly unwanted hug (spoon) as payback for leaving me up the dinosaur. I now have a reputation as an "aggressive spooner" for my around-the-waist-crocodile-wrestling-technique, which equally applies to Texans.

The next morning we had pancakes with real blueberries and maple syrup, cooked on a gas-fired frypan in the sunlight and shade of the towering pine trees. The picture-perfect peaceful scene was only broken by a few birds and one of the younger snowboarders losing last night's dinner and drinks not-too far in the distance. Her boyfriend was encouraging, calling, "Just get it all up honey" while he continued making our pancakes.

Laura and I packed up the tent and set out for hiking at Morainne Lake and Lake Miniwanka (which can, laughably be pronounced as it is written).

Joanne would like this....

My work has three different types of hot chocolate constantly on tap, being Regular, "After 8", which might be mint and "Coffee Crisp" which I seriously don't understand. Is it a liquified chocolate bar that tastes like coffee? Is this a Canadian mocha? (Prenun: M-oh- ka as opposed to mokka)

I don't know. Just thought you'd like to know I still care about the little questions of Canadian culture.

I've tried Regular. It's too sweet.

One down, two to go.

Sunny Lake Louise

My first few hours at Lake Louise with Laura were a profound experience. It was a perfect sunlit day in early Spring. The web album on the right has the whole set of photos from those few hours. It was literally impossible to take a bad photo.

To me, Lake Louise is the most beautiful place in the world. It shares the top honours only with the sunset over the beach between the palm trees of Great Keppel Is. Australia.

The Lake is one of the most famous in the world and home to the Fairmont Lake Louise hotel. Basically, the owners of this hotel chain in the early part of the 20th century had the foresight to buy Chateaus and Manor houses around the world in the most striking locations to turn into prestige hotels. In the case of Lake Louise, where there was nothing, they built a castle-themed hotel on the basis that if you build it, they will come.

These days, you can have high tea in winter before going iceskating on the Lake and then attend a wedding reception at night.

That's right. In winter, the Lake, which is shallow, freezes completely solid. To me, I can think of few things more magical or romantic than iceskating on the Lake, surrounded by the Rocky Mountains.

My work colleague Gillian, is getting married at Lake Louise and having her reception at the hotel in February 2008. The perfect place if you fancy being a snow bride.

Before I wax too lyrical, let it be said that Princess Louise, who the lake is named for, never had a clue as to how majestic a place she was named after.

Princess Louise, Queen Victoria's daughter married the first Governor of Alberta. Alberta, the province at that point hadn't been named. So the Governor named Alberta for his wife, Princess Louise Caroline Alberta. Just as well she did have a few names to spare because Louisiana and Carolina were already used up down in the USA.

Alberta being judged too western, too wild and too uncivilised to even visit, especially for a Princess, Louise spent their entire marriage living in Ottawa and never visited the Lake she was named for.

Swiss mountaineers were brought over from Europe in the early 20th century to map the mountains and help create routes and paths for both recreation and trade. Apparently this was not a problem because the hard-core Swiss mountain men were keen on a new challenge. The legacy is that much of the Rocky Mountain towns on the Albertan side were designed in the Swiss chalet style, with the intention of luring Europeans to Canada as a new health and resort destination.

I could go back a hundred times and never be bored with the sight. It is truly one of the great wonders of the world. And it's less than 2 hours drive from my house.